Hostage or Captivated by love

I woke up this morning with the word "hostage" in my mind, so I went to the computer to look up the meaning and examples of it's use. After thinking on this for a while, I wondered how closely this is related to being captivated (positively) by someone or something. Is it just a matter of heart attitude toward the subject. To take a hostage, someone is sought out, grabbed and used against their will. To be truely captivated, someone must seek you out and know you, your likes and dislikes, the meaning of your expressions, your deepest desires and thoughts of your heart.
As a child, was I a captivated lover of God or a hostage to religious teaching
As a teenager was I captivated by the love of a young man or a hostage to the IDEA of marriage or both.
As a mom, I AM aware that there were days that I was a hostage to the job of parenting and other days that I was captivated by the sweet adorable wonderous gifts of the children God gave me.
As a employee am I a hostage to the JOB or a willing captive to the calling God has on my life.
ATTITUDE does matter!! In every area of my life I want to be CAPTIVATED by LOVE. Take away all that HINDERS love.

Perception and REALlity

When I was a teenager I remember hearing and praying for the FIVE MISSIONARIES who were killed landing a plane in the jungle trying to reach an unreached tribe for Jesus. I ALREADY had unbelief in my heart as to whether God could take care of me (personal experiences). This story was another blot on God's care of His kids in MY eyes. A few weeks ago I heard a story of Nate Saint's son (Nate Saint was one of the 5). He was interviewing a woman who was the wife of one of the men who killed his dad. She was present at the time of their death. She was telling of the "PEOPLE they saw and heard singing in 'choir robes' during these killings" (Obviously angels were there). Also this son talked about missionaries ALL OVER THE WORLD -especially men - who were called to the mission field by God after the death of these 5 men. This son had heard this same story of God speaking to men to GO into ALL the world through his dad's death. So in my little world, in my little perception, I was DEAD WRONG!!! God had NOT abandoned HIS SERVANTS --They were carried home by a CHOIR of Angels and the seed of their blood planted sent THOUSANDS AROUND THE WORLD TO WIN THOUSANDS FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD!! Uncover and Forgive the unbelieving heart of THIS believer.

Psalm 19

Listening to aCd, the teacher pointed out that we know God through CREATION (1-6), through the wisdom of the Law of the Lord (7-11), and through worship (12-14).

In my life experience creation was attacked through the theory of evalution. Not God but a comic mistake blew the world into being. Even though I learned The Creation Story LITERALLY from an infant in Sunday School, I've been realizing that the mocking of the modernists still left a residue around the edges of my heart.

The second way we know God is through the Law of the Lord. The big theme in my early teens was "god is dead". I had the opportunity all my life to listen to wonderful preachers and teachers. Most of my heart is "converted" (as we say in Christianeese). But I could again see how these shadows still were present in me, more in silencing ME than in speech.

I "saw" these things like smoke on a glass window. When we had a wood stove burning all winter, we never noticed the film of smoke residue on the glass until someone 'touched' it. Then it was evident that the dirt was there.

The third way to know God has always been the purest for me --through Worship. As we learn that "The Lord inhabits the praises of his people", this has been true for me. Worshipping alone or in a group brings HIS SWEET PRESENCE!!

Wipe me clean Lord, all the smoke and soot from walking this earth. Only in the LIGHT can I see the darknesses still in me.

One voice level

I was at work today with someone who was using one level of voice, just below a piercing scream. We have a mixture of little munchkins and teenagers. There was a rush about everything that was happening ..... hurry, hurry, hurry!! This disturbed me as munchkins ESPECIALLY don't need that level of voice and push. I went home and then came back to address what I had seen. It surprises me that people don't GET that the effect of a loud voice wears off quickly. It is only when you use LOUD occationally that it is effective. Loud is for danger or dire distress. Coaching, encouraging, directing all are good skills and don't need a scream to have happen. So my message for today is SLOW DOWN, QUIET DOWN, RELAX and enjoy the kids!!!!

sign of aging

I walked into a bank yesterday with the check and my card (no purse). Going to the instant teller I pushed all the correct buttons to deposit a check. I looked at the amount printed on the check and realized that no matter how far away I held the check from my face, I still could not read the amount printed on the check. Since a line had formed behind me, I swallowed hard and asked the lady behind me the amount printed there......"NO GLASSES" I shrugged!!! When I finished my transaction, I turned to the lady and thanked her and said "One more sign of aging that I can blog about". Those of you that are older than me, can you PLEASE tell me some benifits of aging. At least I can still laugh at my misfortune but I WOULD like to know some positive things about getting older.

On a steep learning curve

This last month has been a learning month. Mostly about my own actions and reactions to things life brings my way. Probably the easiest way to sum up a whole lot of stuff is that "Perception is REALITY" at least until other BIGGER truth is added to the mix. I'm not sure exactly how change ACTUALLY takes place but allowing for change is a good thing.

I remember a long time ago... before Art and I had kids, we started playing volleyball with people in Thompson who KNEW how the game was supposed to be played. Both Art and I had played on Volleyball teams that were quite GOOD in high school but the way the THOMPSON teams played was much superior to the way we previously learned. So now we had a choice to make. Keep playing the way we HAD played or forget the past and RELEARN from scratch a whole new WAY. We felt like we were in kindergarden RELEARNING every move. Submitting to a new reality and being teachable paid off. We became better Volleyball players.

This same principle has been true in other areas of life. This last month has been kind of like that. Where my perception of the way to "DO" stuff has been off, I'm learning a whole new way of looking at some things. I can't see the whole picture yet but I AM experiencing a new REALITY.