Snow

The older I get the less I like the coming of snow. Walking and driving are more difficult. I'm more cautious going in and out of the house as stairs and driveways are slippery. The only way that I can appreciate the new snowfall is to see it through the eyes of a child. Children welcome the soft white fluff with shining welcoming eyes. I see them eating the white cold chunks like it is their favorite ice cream. They lay in the snow making angels with huge wings. With sticky, cold mittens they roll snow balls into large round bodies of snowmen. All this is done with rosy-red cheeks and cold fingers and toes. Eyes flash and eyelashes get thick with frost. Smiles are permanently etched into their faces. So instead of hearing myself say, "On no, it is snowing", I'll choose to hang out with some little people who cheerfully yell, "OH LOOK, it's snowing, YEAH!!" This makes winter a little more bearable.

forbidden

This morning Joyska said she was trying to comment on my blog and the word "forbidden" to comment came up. I felt this yucky thing rise up in me at the word FORBIDDEN. I hate that word. I think it is a strong response the silly things that were forbidden for me as a child. Many of the forbidden things were a LARGE piece of who I was meant to be. I remember as a very young child loving music and it was sinfully to MOVE your body to music. I liked to dress up but drawing attention to oneself was sinful. Heaven forbid that we should wear any makeup. I love stories but movies were evil. So having the word forbidden coming up on MY blog JUST CAN'T BE!! I must ask my blog master, wonderful person, to PLEASE find out why that horrid word is there. IT must be FORBIDDEN to be on MY blog sight.

Christmas 2004

I've been making Christmas cards and writing a Christmas letter so it can be sent in December (not July). I actually did sent a Christmas letter in July a long time ago. It was a "guilt" letter. I was feeling guilty for not sending cards to all the nice people who had sent cards to me. That time of my life is over. THIS Christmas card is for people that I wish I could spend more time with and I want to share my life with but can't always. I REALLY appreciate friendships that I have made over the years. This morning I had a call from someone that I haven't heard from in about 15 years. Her name is Ida and we spent a lot of time together in Lynn Lake. Her youngest child is 20 and she's a Grandma like me. It was SO NICE to catch up with her life. I'll be sending one of these Christmas cards to her now that I know where she is. NO more guilt cards for me, just "I love you" cards.

A good teacher

I've been thinking about how I like learning new things. One of my favorite teachers here in Winnipeg is Dr. Lois Edmunds. Whenever she teaches something, she takes a huge subject and breaks it down into it's simplest form. She could expound for hours on any part of the subject but chooses to only answer questions people put to her once the explanation is complete. I come away from a session with her THINKING about what she has said (like a cow chewing it's cud) for hours, days and sometimes weeks after. To me her motives are pure in teaching. She wants her students to HEAR concepts that will enable them to understand and live life better. She doesn't use her knowledge to SHOW OFF her intellect (although she easily could). She tries to keep the information in terms her pupils understand and not use technical terms that would have to be explained to the layperson. She is intuitive and direct when someone is trying to skirt an issue that needs to be address. She is gentle with someone being pushed too fast. She hears WAY beyond what people are actually saying to get to the heart of an issue. She can summarize a large group conversation in a few short sentences. I come away encouraged with different tools to face life. I find her wisdom amazing and always look forward to any classes she teaches. I too teach sometimes. I would like to be able to do half as good a job someday as this remarkable lady.

November

So far November has been a difficult month. My body aches so much I just want to cry. I'm getting up in the morning and forcing myself to get out of the house and walk as I don't even want to move as moving is painful. I'm not cowardly but I don't LIKE PAIN.
I believe that we are in a time of walking in obedience and doing the RIGHT thing even when it is difficult. I've been telling one of the grandbabies to be nice to her sister and she replies, " I don't want to be nice." I tell her that she still needs to be nice even when she doesn't want to BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT THING. Doing the "right thing"sometimes sucks and is painful but the fruit of it is still good. I like words like "pleasant", "easy", "natural", but sometimes what is the right thing goes "against the grain" of our nature and is just plain difficult and unpleasant. I know that as we do the right thing that it becomes natural and ok and that keeps me going.

when our goals colide

When my kids were small I read a story of a mom who was growing her garden with her children. The rows were crocked, the plants were not evenly spaced and the garden was far from a picture-perfect beautiful space. When a helpful neighbor pointed out the imperfections and offered help, the mom, knowing her goals replied, I'm growing children, not a garden. If her goal was to have a perfect space in her yard, she could have done the work herself without "helpful little hands" learning and stumbling and being imperfect. We know that practice makes perfect. We may respect and be wowed by the perfect garden, but if our goal is mentoring, growing people, we need to be satisfied with imperfect, stumbling, "good tries". Grabbing the shovel to make straight lines would discouage and dishearten little hearts but cheering on the attempt at MAKING a line would encourge more attempts and each attempt would show improvement.

If my goal is a prize winning garden, I want only experienced, experts in to help me. Chances are I can't MENTOR and expect to win the BEST garden prize at the same time. So I need to choose my goal AHEAD OF TIME. Mentoring means being satisfied showing small steps forward and cheering for the imperfect. To mix my goals is to frustrate myself and those that I choose to mentor .