Thinking about communication

I've been thinking about communication in reguard to community living. When Yvonne talked about wondering if we answer honestly if someone asks "How are you doing", that got me thinking about safe but honest answers to that question. I could say "fine thanks" or "do you have some time to spare" or even "are you really interested or are you being polite." It would be a little difficult to say "when I shared with you before it wasn't helpful as a matter of fact I felt worse after our encounter" or "my experience has been that when I talk privately with you, what I say gets around to others" These ALL could be TRUE statements but may or may not be helpful statements in building a relationship.
One of the BEST run and healthy groups I was ever in, was on a school committee in northern Manitoba. All Issues (my kids LOVE that word--not!!) were brought up directly to the people involved; no one looked to place blame but only to be solution focused; Questions where not WHY questions, but HOW can this be resolved, WHAT new steps must be taken, WHEN can they be implemented, Who will do what. This was SO VERY different from how I had grown up that it left a life long impression on me. It still, to this day, makes me sad to say I DID NOT learn these lessons in a Christian community, but I am thankful for the lessons anyway.